metabatchat | encrypted batfam text

you were a child being thrown into shit you shouldn't have ever had to deal with

i am not okay with any of it

You could say that about any Robin. Look, I I appreciate that you want to. I mean that. I thought I was the only one bothered. But you know it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened. You can’t go around pummelling everyone who made me uncomfortable before I turned 18. Some of them were normal. Some of them were Ra’s al Ghul sister. It’s not worth it.

( robins get thrown into a shitton of messes. jason remembers several of his own, knows dick had countless close calls, steph has. so has duke, and damian. but this isn't the same as that. it's different and jason can imagine the mindset that went behind it and it makes him sick. )

i can, i will, and it's completely worth it

He thought I was cute and asked me out to dinner. That’s it. I don’t want to be a victim. I was a closeted mess and I hated how the costume felt like drag, because it felt too close to things I was trying to bury, but I only complained about it afterwards. I could’ve refused, and Bruce and Alfred were listening the whole time.

Edited 2024-03-13 04:54 (UTC)

( there are several half-written responses that get erased before jason sends them and pisses himself off even more. settles on something less--inflammatory. less likely to piss tim off, too. )

it's not about you
it's about them
he knew better

[ Tim knows the he is Bruce. He just doesn’t know how to argue it, because if it were someone else, Tim would be reaching the same conclusion.

(But he was basically an adult at 15. There’s a different scale.) ]

I don’t want you in trouble.

( i don't want you in trouble, he says, as if jason has ever been out of trouble. )

if they'd pulled the same shit on me when i was the same age, how would you feel about it
you can't argue it's different

But it IS different. You and Damian never would’ve agreed to it. I’m the “good soldier” as long as B’s not being unreasonable. I mean more unreasonable. He’s usually unreasonable.

let's say i would've agreed
that i would've asked for more undercover work and jumped into it as enthusiastically as you did
i bet i still would've been smaller than you at 16
if you couldn't pull of "male intern" i sure as hell couldn't

[ There’s a good 30 seconds between Read ✅ and the … appearing. It takes time to roll the memories in his head and supplant himself with a young Jason. ]

B would have fired me for knocking their teeth in over the preferential treatment, but I’d have taken you with me.

It’s not a fair question. I’d tell 99% of the population to not be Robin.

but i was robin
so was dick
and steph
damian
duke, too, even if he wasn't one of b's

if you wouldn't tolerate the shit you did happening to the rest of us, it's not okay

Because you’ve all been through enough already! And before you say it, I’m better at handling it.

no you're not
you just think you're better at hiding it

IT WAS NOT A BIG DEAL. Nobody laid a hand on me at the hospital.

"You haven’t been traumatized until you’ve been hit on by a male doctor while stealing records dressed as a female intern."
"I thought I was the only one bothered."
"everyone who made me uncomfortable before I turned 18."

you want me to start wording all the shit that's ever bothered me like it's a joke and see how long it takes before you start getting pissed about it?

Stop twisting everything around. You taking control of my narrative isn’t making any of it better. If you want to help, give Tim the talk with a double helping of consent and agency. That accomplishes something, maybe.

you're trying to get me to back off by making me feel shitty for repeating the same crap you said back at you

and redirecting me elsewhere because it's fine when it's you, but it's apparently not fine when it's you but several years younger

i may not be tim drake, boy genius, but i'm not a fucking idiot

The problem is you’re not an idiot. I’m staying at the Belfry for awhile. But you knew that.

yeah, because avoiding seeing me in person is doing you so many favors

you know, i can't really relate to the whole getting hit on by a male doctor thinking i was an intern bit
given i'm pretty sure i spent most of being sixteen on the streets of gotham right under bruce's nose without anyone fucking finding me
or
you know
getting thrown into a lazarus pit, macked on by talia al ghul, then thrown into the goddamn ocean
really depends on the timing, fuck if i can remember
must be the brain damage

guess i should give up and give most fucked up mission up to you, huh

given my robin years weren't nearly as entertaining and all
probably helps that i only had a couple years as opposed to your, what, twice over that?

guess you could technically count bruce dropping me off at a boys home meant to use kids as cannon fodder as a fun undercover mission
i ever mention the salt guns?

I didn’t say what’s happened to you isn’t fucked up. It is. That’s why I said I’d care if it was the other way around.

It’s not a competition. Fuck. That would be messed up.

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