jason todd. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reneger) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
metabatchat2023-09-29 03:53 pm
reneger) wrote in metabatchat2023-09-29 03:53 pm
encrypted text, to everyone; (oct 1st)
tony stark disappeared
he left all his shit to me on his way out the door
he left all his shit to me on his way out the door
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mostly moved out this way a month or so ago
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And I know you've got a place in Central. Doesn't change what I said.
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i'll make my own special club
and it'll be so much cooler than yours
we'll have water guns and rock climbing walls
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deep enough dickie jr might fall in and we may never find him again
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[There's a few minutes before another text.]
I would like to see your place, sometime. Just because I don't want to live in New York doesn't mean I don't want to know about it.
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no
i'm inviting everyone over but you
including bruce
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[He's just, you know, not going to completely call bullshit on Jason.]
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[It takes a moment before the next text comes Private]
I'm not going to force myself into your space if you don't want me there. I don't want you to feel like I'm...I don't know. Trying to force you into a role that you don't want or aren't ready for. We haven't always had the easiest relationship, which is on us both.
If you need anything, I will be there. And I promise that if I need anything, I will ask for it. But you deserve your own space. We both do. I'm not rejecting you by wanting to stay in Central.
private.
he doesn't respond to it for a bit. he's in a bad mood. he got a huge chunk of shit shoved onto him all at once that he's not going to get time to deal with. stark's gone. harper's not answering his calls, and while jason isn't taking that as roy being missing just yet, it's not a good sign. going off on dick when he's in a shit place is a really, really bad move.
jason writes out a response, deletes it. writes it out again, deletes it. turns off his phone, turns it back on. types out a simple "whatever", then deletes that too. doesn't settle with just that though. )
usually, i'd let you have it. haha, sure dick fucked up but jason also did, clearly it's on both of us and we should both stop being stupid.
hell, i'd eat it all. i'm the family fuck up, i'm the one who doesn't listen. maybe this is all on me
but you know what?
it's all on you
you gave me a phone number when i was a kid, a suit, and fucked off to your friends who just couldn't help constantly comparing me to you
that part, that's not on you. that's on them
you left me with bruce knowing damn well how he is and went off to space
i came back angry, not on you
i didn't come back to gotham when maybe i should have, not on you
bruce took out all his shit on me and no one came looking for me after
not you, not bruce, not alfred
i was alone
i was alone and fucked up, bruce almost killed me, and no one was there. i had to take care of myself
i came after you because you were there and you threw me in arkham
'damian needed me, i was busy with batman'
where were you when i needed you?
where were you when bruce broke me bad enough harper had to strand me on an island so i could recover?
where were you when bruce came by to tell me my best friend was dead, but "sorry, you're still never allowed to come back home".
you've been there for tim, steph, cass, and damian, but you were never there for me
every damn time one of you has called me back in for the world ending, or some other stupid shit, i've shown up
when i needed someone?
i had to figure it out on my own
our rocky relationship?
that's on you
[Private]
[Because the first thing that comes to mind is accepting some of it, but absolutely fighting against the rest. He had reasons. They both had reasons.]
[Instead, he goes to the gym and beats up the heavy bag for half an hour, until he can think straight and not go for the anger options. Because he knows that Jason doesn't actually blame him for most of that. Jason's already said as much.]
[But he's hurting and Dick had trampled over some boundary without realizing it. Had gone in for a joke because it was easier. Which is why it's closer to an hour before Dick replies.]
I'm sorry about Tony disappearing. I know he was important to you.
[You don't have to entirely like somebody for them to be important.]
I'll be here if you want to talk.
[He can't change the past. The best he can do is keep a hand out going forward.]
[Private]
( there's no delay. jason's angry, but it's not genuine anger. it's anger put on to mask hurt he doesn't want to deal with. it's easier, to be pissed off and scream than it is to sit in his own fucked up feelings and figure out what to do with them. anger has always come easier.
roy doesn't have a neural interface jason can ping, but he's already done his "i'm fucking off from the world for a bit, be back later" ghosting move. he wouldn't pull that again so soon. wouldn't ignore jason's messages that are pointedly on the verge of panic. he's an asshole like the rest of them, but not like that.
they're all disappearing on him. everyone outside the family. and jason doesn't have a way to keep them grounded. )
[Private]
[But, there's really only one word for this.]
Fuck.
[Because Roy's his friend, too.]
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he's said his bit. he got it out. dick can do with it what he wants. he wants to get pissed off that dick just - deflected everything, didn't answer for any of it, but jason's tired. he's tired, he's depressed, he's got so much shit going on and every damn time he tries to balance it out something else comes up. he loses someone, he needs to give tim and dickie a break, dick's close to losing it, bruce is - bruce.
maybe it's time to fuck off from everyone again. )